Ralph Waldo Emerson once said “Your Actions speak so loudly that I cannot hear your words.” No truer words have ever been spoken.
Your children watch everything that you say and do. They take their cues on what is and is not appropriate behavior from you. So if they see you being abusive towards them or your spouse or some other person. You have just inadvertently taught them to be loud, abusive, and disrespectful toward other people when something has upset you for whatever reason. It also undermines anything you say or do of a positive nature. This can be incredibly confusing to a youngster. They are not really sure what to do when they have a disagreement with another child. This could very easily lead them towards becoming a bully. None of us want that to happen.
True, most bullies tend to be boys because they are naturally more aggressive than girls. But don’t kid yourself. Girls can very easily become a bully if they are constantly subjected to the wrong type of behavior by parents, siblings or other family members around them. Girls are far more prone towards Cyberbullying than boys. But this kind of equals out as they get older and become more familiar with technology.
I was personally subjected to being bullied by a girl in the fourth grade. She took advantage of the fact that I would not hit her back. I had been taught that boys do not hit girls under any circumstances. I was still hearing about this incident several years later when I was in middle school. It was used to embarrass and humiliate me in the eighth grade. She must have had a very rough home life to be willing to take on a boy as a fourth grader.
I am not going to try to convince you that I am perfect. Not even close. I have done things in front of my daughter as she was growing up that I wish I had not done. But I always tried to make sure to take the time to explain that I had made a mistake and I did not want her to ever do what she saw me do. I started teaching her this lesson when she was only three years old. That is not too young to start teaching them what is acceptable behavior and what is not.